Cheap Beer, Lousy Food

What do mountains of ice, helicopter flights, dog sled rides, crab baskets and white whales have in common? How do you describe native people to a seven year old? How do you help her get excited about something she has little to no reference for? Pictures, of course. So it was with that thought that we bought our daughter a travel guide with tons of pictures in preparation for our upcoming Alaskan cruise. Two months and 8 days until we sail to Glacier Bay.

Wow, the pictures are fabulous and there is nothing like it to help a 7 year old get her head around the concept of a mountain of ice.  She has a few special pages marked already: the Eskimo girl being tossed in the air (can I do that?); the Glacier Bar outside of Fairbanks where you can get a Coke (or Martini) in an ice glass while sitting on an ice stool at the ice bar; a grizzly bear holding a salmon, and a restaurant with a sign out front that reads, "cheap beer, lousy food." Hmmm, sounds promising little girl! Looking through the guide lately has provided me with the break I need at the end of the day.

Some days though, the pages of a guide book would just not be enough. Some days, I need a lot more. How do I know? " Woe is me" is my signal to myself that I have gone passed the point of a little stressed.  It shares the stage with, "am I the only competent person in the place?" Both thoughts are warning signs that it is time for me to think before I speak, assess before I react, review messages before I hit the send button and maybe even consider if everyone would be better served if I just turned my car around and went home instead of coming into work.

Did I always know this? No, but time, experience and lots of coaching have taught me well. A quick trip to Glacier Bay may not always be feasible but a day off, a walk around the building, venting with a trusted colleague or a emergency phone call to a mentor or coach may very well be.

While I encourage you to think about what will reenergize you, I offer that you may be better served by first taking one step back and asking yourself the question, "how do I know when I need a break?" and then taking the time to consider what you discover. There are so many things that happen around us that we cannot control. We can control how we take care of ourselves.

Hey, if cheap beer and lousy food will help the cause, you  may seek me out!

Don't "Should" On Me

"Little light on the posts this week, Lisa" This thought has entered and left my mind a number of times throughout the week. I have been crazy busy and without any time to stop, think, and process. What will it take to slow the train down?!  Well, 12 inches of wet, heavy spring snow seems to have done it, at least for a short while. The spring snow last night provided me with a little respite from the madness as I made my way through it to the gym and to work. I did this after taking my daughter's snow boots and snow pants out of the winter closet for the third time this season.

It should be rainy, not snowy in April. I should be able to pack away winter clothes in March. I should have learned by now. I should learn to use that four-wheel drive on my Pilot. Let's switch to the workplace. Employees should always tell the truth. Supervisors should be take responsibilities for their decisions and be accountable for their communications. The Union should understand Management's position. Everything HR related should make sense. Should, should, should, should should . . . . how's that working for you? Well, it's not working for me, although it should. Everyone should see things my way but they don't (darn!).

So, how do I facilitate a change in behavior without imposing my "shoulds" on others?

I am going to try a little experiment. I am going to remove "should" and its close neighbor "need to" from my vocabulary (yikes!). I am going to try to stop and think about the "should" situation in terms of solving a breakdown or increasing effectiveness and developing my communication from there.  How will that look? What will I say? I am not sure exactly but I am willing to give it a try.

If you don't "should" on me and I will try really, really, really hard not to "should" on you!