Shaping Your World With Words

Our daughter does not spend a night at home without either me or my husband beside her as she falls asleep. A tired, content kid is also an unguarded one and it is in the last few waking moments that we find out most about what's on her mind. The other night was no different and, by 6:30 am the following morning, I had already gone to the gym, stopped by Caribou Coffee And finished leaving early morning messages for two different people.

Something on your mind? Use your words.

My first call was to my daughter's teacher. The kid was having problems finding a reading assessment on the computer and was concerned about asking her teacher to help her. So much so, she did not want to go to school. I know the teacher and this did not make sense to me. We agreed that I would contact the teacher and she would go to school.

My second call was to a photographer. We had pictures taken and ordered a set of three 4x6 pictures for dad for Valentines Day. Two pictures were of the kid and the third was of the both of us together. Driving home she had another idea and wanted one picture of her, one of me and one of the both of us. We agreed that I would contact the photographer and, if we could, we would change our order.

You can shape your world with your words.

Why did I make those calls? Simple, I made the calls because the kid asked me to. More than that, she had a concern or she had an idea AND she told me. She used her words and I responded. As a mother, I want my daughter to know that there is power in her words;she can use them to rock her world and compel those around her.

My daughter's words in these two instances were calls for action.She needed something and I was in a position to act. We communicate with others every day. We we want something done, we can communicate, as my daughter did, to request action. When we are interested in building relationships, we can communicate to establish trust. When we are wondering what is possible, we can communicate to explore and speculate with others.

My daughter's teacher approached her first thing in the morning and offered to walk her through the steps to locate the reading assignment on the computer. She then found it on her own, aced the assignment and recorded it as a high for the day in her journal. Although the photography order was already placed, the photographer made the change the kid requested and it turned out fabulous!

Communicate.

If you want things to be different than they are now, you have to let others know what's on your mind.

What do you have to say? Say it and expect the unexpected.

Coaching Works

"Tell me about leadership coaching."  A simple request and a post is inspired.

Leadership coaching is one of the best professional decisions I made for myself. I started working with a leadership coach while a member of an executive team strategically preparing for company growth. I continued the coaching relationship after changing employers and focused on my leadership. For me, coaching has been invaluable.

Why are coaches used?

Harvard Business Review authors Diane Coutu and Carol Kauffman offer their answer to that question. An executive summary of their article is right here. The coaching industry is on the rise. " Ten years ago, most companies engaged a coach to fix toxic behavior at the top. Today, most coaching is about developing the capability of high potential performers." When the authors asked coaches to explain the healthy growth of their industry, the coaches said that "clients keep coming back because 'coaching works.' " The top 3 reasons coaches are engaged are "to develop high potentials or facilitate transition (48%); act as a sounding board (26%); and address derailing behavior (12%)."

What can a coach do for you? 

I am committed to my learning and growth. I was able to achieve a certain level of success and career satisfaction on my own. I felt I had more to offer and needed someone to not only push me but to hold me accountable. A coach can do that for you.

I think - a lot. I think about communication, setting expectations, staff development, team cohesion, and more. I wanted someone with my best interests in mind, to process ideas with, to challenge my thinking, and to offer alternatives. A coach can do that for you.

Try as I might, I tend to get in my own way. We are hard-wired to respond certain ways to certain situations without even realizing it. My coach is able to help me identify when I am doing so and offer me different perspectives, perceptions and ways to respond. The phrase, "can't see the forest for the trees" comes to mind as does, "Oh, I am the problem!"  A coach can do that for you.

What makes a successful coaching relationship?  

A successful coaching relationship, as defined in the HBR article, is one where the executive is highly motivated to change; the executive has good chemistry with, and trusts, the coach; and there is a strong commitment from top management in developing the executive.

I started working with a coach in a business context but continued on my own. Regardless, the same elements are necessary for success: motivation to change, good chemistry, and personal commitment. 

Are you still unsure if coaching is right about you? Think about this, choosing to work with a coach is a choice to grow (strong).