{Quietly} Bringing Out the Best In Others

More and more, I am convinced that acceptance brings out the best in others. It is the answer to almost every interpersonal problem we face.

I finished reading, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in A World That Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain.  The animation done with Cain's argument on effective teams is captivating.

Considering that at least one-third of the people we know are introverts, it is important for leaders looking to make a difference to consider that the "most effective teams are comprised of a healthy mix of introverts and extroverts.

Here are three ways you can use Cain's research to enhance group synergy, creativity and  leadership.

1. Focus on substance rather than style. We see talkers as leaders and put a premium on presenting. Shift your focus from the presentation of an idea, to the idea itself.
2. Make it easy for people to chat. Allow for natural face-to-face interactions. These interactions create trust in a way that on-line or forced communications cannot.
3. Savor solitude. Put the emphasis on teamwork back where it belongs - on the shelf. Solitude is an important key to creativity lacking in many workplaces today.
   

Cain's research shows that "introverts are uniquely good at leading initiative-takers. Because of their inclination to listen to others and lack of interest in dominating social situations, they are more likely to hear and implement suggestions." And, "with their natural ability to inspire, extroverted leaders are better at getting results from more passive workers." 

Introverts, this is a call to you. Your temperament is not a wonder, a worry or an excuse. "Figure out what you are meant to contribute to the world and make sure you contribute it." Don't wait for others to show you how.

Acceptance. It can change us. It can change others. Isn't that what leadership is about anyway?

===> Do you think leaders need to "Grow up and Lead?" I do. Help me spread the word by clicking here and then "Yes, please write this manifesto" at ChangeThis. Voting ends Jan 4.

The Military Family: A Day in the Life Sunday

I am unwrapping posts from the archives and mixing the old with the new. Enjoy this post from the past.

When people find out I am a veteran and the questions come, I tend to deflect the focus away from me. People don't always understand why. Let me explain.

iStockphoto

Wearing my uncle's wool top from the Navy was the extent of my connection to the military as a child. While I vividly recall watching the Army commercials when I was in grade school - the ones with the silhouetted profiles of  soldiers running over the crest of a hill - my first real introduction to the military did not occur until college.

I was a freshman when I noticed Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC) cadets rappelling off the science center. Long story short, looked like fun, the chance of a scholarship was enticing, I had nothing else planned at the time -  joined ROTC. One thing lead to another and, with Bachelors degree in hand, I was commissioned and on active duty soon after graduation.

I saw active duty as a three-year opportunity to see the world and advance my education. Add in the fact that I'd get a paycheck and it was a mighty good deal for a college kid with some debt and a biology degree. 

For me, this was a job - a temporary gig. It wasn't long before I realized that for others, this was so much more. For the soldiers I had the honor of working alongside of and leading, this was their life. Even as my three years turned into 10, I knew in my heart it wasn't ever going to be that way for me.

I was single, on my own and with no particular place to be. I didn't give up anything (other than a social life) yet there were sacrifices being made all around me. From the supply sergeant's wife who threw herself into Girl Scouts so she and the girls had something to carry them through the absences, the drill sergeant (psycho-like to new recruits) who kept his daughter's teddy bear in his desk drawer, and the commander who, missing most of her children's birthdays, vowed not ever miss those of her grandchildren - tough heart-wrenching choices were made everyday. 

There was sacrifice but there was not sadness. There was honor, inspiration and pride in being part of something bigger than yourself. And while I got to be a part of that, it wasn't about me at all. It was about doing what I could to  honored the commitment and sacrifice of the military family. 

Reach out to a Veteran and their family today to thank them for their service and let them know you care.

===> Do you think leaders need to "Grow up and Lead?" I do. Help me spread the word by clicking here and then "Yes, please write this manifesto" at ChangeThis. Voting ends Jan 4.