Shoplifting

A year ago I was arrested for shoplifting in Illinois - it was the worst decision of my life and something that I will regret forever. I finally had the arrest expunged a month ago and now I am applying for jobs. I got my criminal file from the county and the arrest doesn't show [so everything was successfully expunged]. However, I am now applying to fortune 500 companies and am so scared that they will still find the arrest with extensive background checks or through third party firms.... even though I can legally say I was not arrested or convicted, should I just be honest and tell HR? How likely will they find it if I don't tell them ? I don't know what I should do...I am riddled with guilt and scared beyond belief. I would appreciate any advice, I have not slept for days ... this is going to haunt me forever.

People make bad choices. You made a bad choice. One bad choice does not necessarily have to haunt you forever. 

Full disclosure is always the best policy. Your record was expunged but you hit the nail right on the head when you mentioned third party firms. Background checks can be extensive and organizations do not rely on a sole source of information. Information is gathered from third party firms, employers, references, etc. If anyone but you knows about your shoplifting, HR is bound to find out about it too.

Bottom line for me as the average HR Manager, tell me about it. What did you do, how old where you, why did you do it, and what did you learn from it? Is your record clean otherwise? Can you honestly ensure me that it will never happen again? I can be much more open and willing to consider and weigh than if you attempt to hide. It goes to integrity and honesty. Shoplifting I can get past; dishonestly I cannot.

Good luck to you.
 

Leave Your Problems in the Parking Lot

People have concerns. These concerns make their way each and every day into the workplace. Where it takes little more than a deep sigh, a long pause, an over-the-bifocals look or a quick reaction for some people to know that they may have missed the mark on an expectation, it also takes little more than a tip of the head, a concerned look, a simple "how are you" for a person's resolve to break away when they are concerned about something.

And, at times, people overestimate their resolve. What's a good leader to do? Listen. Talk to them. Allow them to be human. Provide them EAP information, time off, a quiet office or whatever they need at that moment. That's easy. Now, what if it is a leader? What if it is you?

Here's the deal. A few weeks ago, I was worried about my kid. After 7 years, I am seeing that this is just part of being a parent and often go to work with concerns on my mind. In this instance, I either underestimated my depth of my concern or overestimated the distraction work would provide. Nonetheless, 3 simple inquires into "how ya doing" on behalf of my staff ended with 3 conversations.

In hindsight, I probably should not have gone to work. And I can't stop thinking about it. I am thinking about the distraction I may have been that day. I am thinking about leaders bringing their problems into the work place. I am thinking about setting an example (or not). The thoughts just keep hanging around and they really need to go, so, I am writing. I am writing to get them on the page and out of my head. What's done is done.

People probably should leave their problems in the parking lot when they come to work but, really, they always can't.