Mothers and Their Daughters: A Day in the Life Sunday

She has her head on my knee and I run my fingers through her hair as she settles in for an early bedtime. She is my daughter and I am her mother. This is my story.

I love this kid more than life itself and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. Growing up, I did not have a child of my own boldly planted on my life radar but now that I have a daughter, I can't imagine my life without her.

I remember being pregnant and laboring over what I would do if the baby was sick and I had to be at work. Well, that was a waste of time because the first time she was sick, the choice was clear. She came first and everything else, from that moment on, became a distant second.

I am committed to her. I am committed to her knowing that she is loved, that she matters and that she belongs. I am committed to not imposing my fears, insecurities and doubts on her and letting her discover and experience the world through her own eyes and in her own way.

Simple, right? No, it's not. A recent early morning series of texts between us went like this:

Her:  Please, please, please come pick me up before school starts.

Me:   What's up?

Her:  Momma, I'm exhausted and just need to sleep, please pick me up.

Me:   Hang in there and go to the nurse if you feel sick and she will call me. 

Her:  Please momma please, I need you. You have to come get me.

Me:   I will come early at 3:30. Love you. 

My inner voice spoke, she'll be fine, she's in a safe place, the school will call if she is sick, she was up late last night, as the texts continued. I responded  thoughtfully to each request from my daughter as I watched the clock tick to 8:40 am, the time when school starts and both the pleading texts of a tired kid and the almost tears of a mother torn would be packed away for the day.

Watching her drift off to sleep now, I wonder what story my daughter would tell.

Leadership Lessons From a Fifth Grader

I am just back from HREvolution and heading into the office with a few lingering thoughts about leadership and being the real deal. As I process them, I'd like to share with you a post from last year about leadership from a fifth grader. Why can't adults just seem to get this right?

Leadership. Sometimes it's so quiet that if you didn't know what you were looking for, you'd miss it.

My daughter started middle school and has had so many opportunities in just the first 4 weeks. One of those was election for student council. So, with 9 students in her homeroom interested in the coveted leadership spot, each set out to create a poster and prepare a speech to solicit votes from their peers. Hers went like this:

"Hi, I'm running for Student Council. I am reliable and responsible and would like to represent you. I am also able to to do something kind of unusual. I can do this <insert freaky finger trick here.> I'm sorry, I just had to make sure you were awake. Like I said, I would like to represent you on the student council. I appreciate your vote and respect your decision. I also brought in some treats for your enjoyment."

<parent note: this line was overridden by the teacher and the Fudge Stripes were not mentioned or shared until after the vote!>

When my husband and I saw her later that day - she was psyched. She LOVED giving the speech and friends told her she was funny, she did not talk too fast and she seemed so comfortable. Giggling and unable to contain her excitement, she wanted to do it again - even though she did not get elected. 

"We're so proud of you for going for it" we said, "look at the wonderful experience you had." Playing with the kid we said, "At least you know you got one vote - your own."

"No," she said. "I had 2 votes and I did not vote for myself."

What?! Turns out she took her 2 votes and used 1 vote for friend A because she was nervous and did a great job on her speech and the other vote for friend B because she thought she'd be a great representative.

Wow, I thought, as I settled back and took a close look at the young girl sitting beside me. Mistaking my pride for doubt, she asked if that was the right thing to do.

Absolutely.

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The story doesn't end there.

A few days later she came home sad. It seems a friend told her she lost the election because she didn't vote for herself. <darn kids> I could see the struggle between for self and for others multiplied by middle school drama.

We talked about not knowing how the votes were distributed, remembering how psyched she was after the presentation and how good it felt to support her 2 friends. We talked about winning vs. being a good person and about how we were so very proud of her.

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Leaders bring out the best in others and, when it's all said and done, that's who people follow. 

I know leadership is not about pomp and circumstance yet I have to wonder, is there still a place for quiet leadership in the loud world we live in today?