Deb writes, "people who get on our every last living nerve tend to teach us more about ourselves than those who don't.. . this, of course, depends on us paying attention to those lessons though. we've got to be aware, and think about these things before just automatically making it all about the other person."
Deb ends her post asking who is bugging us today. Well, since she asked.. . .the faces may change (and they do) but the traits below definitely get me going in the workplace:
Pass (and Drop) Responsibility
Leadership without Personal Accountability
I am not sure exactly what it has been, probably a combination of time, experience, and coaching, but I know that what Deb is saying is true. You can't change other people but you can control your reactions and responses to them. You can manage your relationships, you can manage your meetings, you can manage how you permit people to interact and engage with you. But, you have got to be awake, present and willing to accept that double edged sword . . . .it really is all about you.
I know the things that get me going, I know the reasons they get to me. I know that knowing doesn't automatically make me any less crabby when I come face to face with them. I know that knowing does help me to be less reactive.Knowing helps me to create some space between me and the "offender." Knowing helps me to get the demons in check and plan my response thoughtfully.
Most of the time.