Yes, I am Judging You

If it looks like I have been judging you, it's because I have. 

If it wasn't me evaluating how you chose to respond on a group email and coming up with a snarky response I'll never deliver or predicting the negative impacts of your personal motivations on your professional reputation I'll never share, I drank my Caribou Cinnamon Spice tea and opined how nice it would be if "they" were even half as competent as "us."

Me judging you with a smile was well-needed stress relief for this over-tired, under-nourished, detail-burdened girl. The end of year hustle, too few daylight hours, and the myriad of germs that accompany bitter cold winter weather have a way of taking the best of us down. 

Judging you was fun but it was also a signal to myself that it's time to cut myself a break and to rest and recover before things get real and take a turn for the worse.  So, in between taking down the holiday decorations and looking ahead to a new year, I am recharging my psyche by celebrating accomplishments and connecting with a friend I've been missing. A few nights of double digit sleep, a couple of hundred rounds down range, and time with the family always does wonders for me.

Judging a person doesn't define who they are, it defines who you are. Now, go out and do something you feel good about. Make it good. I'm watching you.

A Reluctant Exerciser: On the Road to Recovery

I completed The Fast Factory Challenge today. My goals for the 6-weeks were pedestrian: recharge my exercise routine,  clean up my diet, and downsize my menopausal muffin top . Not for one moment did I entertain the idea of shifting my lifelong relationship with fitness. Yet, that's what happened.

The building blocks were there. I've had the support of family, CrossFit coaches who challenged me to test my limits, and a cadre of runners who inspired me to train for a 10-miler.  When I ignored the signs, pushed through the pain and was injured about 2 years ago, my favorite personal trainer in the world guided me on the road to recovery. We barreled through feelings of inadequacy and challenges of age.

I made my way into the morning crew at the gym and the choreographed sequence of free weights, benches, and machines. No longer did I feel the need to try (in vain) to keep up with those half my age or to push myself beyond what my body was able to commit to that day. I learned to pay close attention to form, to push when able, and to rest when needed. I exercised safely, did not reinjure, and my strength returned. It was good - until it wasn't.

Late this past summer, my motivation waned. I was ready for a change. I needed a recharge. I missed the energy and accountability of a group. The challenge provided me with all that, and more. I am stronger in mind and body than I was 6 weeks ago.

Not all hard work leads to progress and I am committed to doing less of the work that takes a lot of effort but leads nowhere. I am committed to doing more of the difficult work that needs to be done to grow.

Like writing again after far too long.