The Yin to My Social Yang

No matter how much I resist, I am always better off when I step out of my comfort zone.

iStockphoto

iStockphoto

Let's take a few conferences I recently attended. The sessions were valuable but, by far, the greatest benefits came outside of the sessions. The greatest benefits always come through interactions with others.

They come:

  • at dinner in Chinatown when you realize you haven't been playing as big as you could.
  • at the Big Bar when you are introduced by one Canadian HR powerhouse to another and know you've just met the real deal.
  • in the lobby of the hotel looking for the evolution and meet two other women looking for the same.
  • in conversation with an amazing couple over wine and risotto.
  • over pannenkuchen in Rochester, Minnesota.
  • in meeting an email connection in real life right before a conference session.

It's all about making a difference yet the times of greatest benefit also present the greatest challenges for me. Introversion is the yin to my social media yang.

After the initial rush of seeing friends and the new conference high wear off, it is painfully clear to me that I really am a small group kind of girl. Walking into a large social event, even when I know many of the people there, freaks me out. When the momentum stops and I am given pause, I am looking for the door as fast as I can.

It's crazy. And I've let it define my path, my choices and what I see as my options. The more I try to change, the more firmly planted I become. I tend to surround myself with card-carrying extroverts because I am drawn to them and really, how else would I ever get out of the house? Try as they might (or maybe they don't see it to try),  they don't understand. Even those closest to me don't always understand.

Sometimes, neither do I.

Credibility Quick Shot

Credibility is the social currency for professional relationships. Without it, leaders are ineffective and irrelevant. There is a shortage of credible leadership today. I want to change that. Right here. Right now.

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I have a difficult time working with people I don’t trust. It takes me longer than most to move from trust to distrust. Once there, I don’t turn back easily.

I value the relationship and always look to preserve it. I give the benefit of the doubt. I give second and third chances. I look for logical motives for what appear to be illogical actions. If you look for the leader who puts her hand out only to get it slapped - you've found me.

I understand having a position but I don’t see the need for positioning. I understand having an opinion but I don’t see the need to ever misrepresent the facts. Leaders operate in a world of grey and it is a shortsighted leader who sees the world as black and white and strives to win at all costs. Doing so costs leaders more than the win. And it impacts all of us.

Are you with me?

Photo credit: Unknown